Millie and the American Wedding is full of embarrassing things that happen to Millie whilst she’s a bridesmaid at Kristen’s wedding; accidental boob flashing, maxi dress malfunction and there’s an incident with melons.... So I thought what better way to mark the launch then share some embarrassing wedding stories.
My most embarrassing wedding moment involves me doing a walk of shame in my bridesmaid dress. Now before you get any ideas, the night itself had not been shameful. It was whilst I was a bridesmaid at an American Wedding. I’d gone out drinking after the wedding with some friends of the groom which had seemed like a great idea. That was until we got to the bar, full of normally dressed people, and then there is me in my long beautiful bridesmaid dress. The words stuck out like a sore thumb come to mind. When it came to the end of the night I was exhausted having been up since 5am the morning before, and I decided it was a better idea to crash at the house of one of the groomsmen – as it was close to the bar and my hotel was way across town. Now again, I know what you’re thinking an no – there were no notches added to my bed post.
The next morning I realised I had to get back to my hotel, put back on my bridesmaid dress and cringed. How was I going to get back to my hotel room (where the rest of the wedding guests were staying) without being seen? The groomsmen looked at me at my bridesmaid dress and thought it an appropriate time to tell me that he didn’t have a car, and only had a motorbike. There was no way I was going to be able to get on a motorbike in my bridesmaid dress. Like a true gentlemen he then started phoning taxis. But for some reason no taxi firms were picking up the phone at 8am on a Sunday. He decided to phone the hotel to see what taxi company they suggested, and after they enquired how far away he was, they suggested they send the hotel shuttle to pick me up. Yes, the hotel shuttle usually used for airport guests etc.
Twenty minutes later an old man arrives with an empty mini bus and he gives me one of those looks at me with the bridesmaid dress on, and then we share the next ten minutes in embarrassing conversation as I remark about the city’s architecture that I’d studied during a course at university. Some how I thought that might make up for him thinking I was a dirty little stop out. I don’t think it did.
After what seemed like forever, the driver pulls up to my hotel and then I make a run for it across the lobby and in to the lift. And I thought I’d got away with it, until the lift doors opened and there on the other side was the groom’s parents and his ten year old sister and their friends. The two ten year old girls were excited to see me, the British accent had intrigued them all the previous day, they didn’t think anything odd about me being in the bridesmaid dress, after all they’d seen me dressed in nothing else. The look from the parents was a little different though as they hurried their children into the lift away from me. And I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole.
And so that was it, my most shameful wedding incident. Well up until I did a reading at my friend’s wedding recently, after running late and having to change in an Iceland car park, left me with a very big pair of purple knickers on under the pale dress, but then that is another story....
So what is your embarrassing wedding story, come on everyone has got one!
Read about my general mutterings on my books and life in general.